Conversation with Anshu Arora
Anshu Arora is the Founder & Chief Synergist of Metamorphosis In-Corporate, India, and a Global Facilitator & Coach with Power Speaking Inc., San Francisco. With 26 years of experience spanning 93 global partners, she excels as a C-Suite Facilitator, TEDx Speaker, Executive Coach, Certified Storyteller, and Experiential Training Lead.
Anshu is the author of Candid Conversations with Anshu Arora, a powerful book sharing 11 true stories of grit, courage, and resilience. Her TEDx talk, Redefining Leadership Gravitas, reflects her leadership coaching journey and inspires meaningful conversations in leadership forums.
Her podcast, Candid Conversations with Anshu Arora, on Spotify, features 27 episodes highlighting real-life stories of individuals aged 8 to 80, showcasing resilience and strength.
A columnist for a mental health magazine, Anshu writes about mental wellness, self-love, and gratitude, sharing actionable insights from personal experiences.
Living by the mantra, “We rise by lifting others,” Anshu continues to inspire positive action through her words and work.
1. What inspired you to write Candid Conversations and share these 11 powerful stories with the world?
> “Sometimes you find your path, sometimes the path finds you”. This is exactly how this book happened.
I have always been fascinated with studying real people. Knowing them, their choices, their response to challenging situations, what triggered their decisions and most importantly, what was the game changer in their lives and how did they take it on from there.
This is not a dark book. This is a book of hope. HOPE - in fact, is the very lesson that I drew from my life and that of the 10 others in my book. I understood that when we are hit by an incident in life, we are thrown into a deep hole, something like the deepest human made hole - the Kola superdeep borehole (in North West Russia and is 12262 metres deep).
Situationally, I came out of something similar. Whilst I was still fighting and struggling, I saw light coming from a thin crack. That ray of light was other people who were fighting bigger battles with even bigger smiles. I realized very soon that the entire world was filled with people who were facing bigger battles than I. I realized that if they can make it, so can I. Loss of a partner, fight for identity, mental wellbeing, addiction and many more concerns seemed like much bigger battles to me.
I realized that "Adversity is an alive human's reality". Dead are not stressed or scared. Every living human has to walk through adversities of different kinds. I believe, not giving up is not a choice. It's a way of life, a privilege only with those truly alive.
Hence, I chose to fight back across my difficulties and chose to pay forward. I understood, there could be many like me, searching for a ray of hope through the cracks. May be this book could be that ray of light that leads the path. This book became a method of paying forward what I learned and received. The realization that all battles big or small can be fought. All we need to do it follow the light coming from the crack and voila, the path will appear.
2. How did you choose the 11 individuals featured in your book? What made their stories stand out to you?
> The idea of the book was already rolling in my head. I decided to look around to see what many people were fighting with. I spoke with some Psychotherapists as well. This initial research helped me lay out the challenges on paper. The challenges that I wanted to address through my book. Now, I was not searching for a particular popular individual, I was rather looking for a strong story to tell. An honest story. I knew that I would know when I have found one. The Universe conspired and sent these 10 people to me. I spoke to someone and then that someone recommended me to someone else and the dots started to join.
Soon enough I was sitting in Dilshad’s living room with Roo flying over my shoulder or having a serious video call with Samindara or Ruchira or just buying my 100th coffee at DiGhent and taking notes.
I want to admit that I interviewed many more people, not just 10, but not all are in the book. Stories with fake facades and unrealistic projections were eliminated. I went where I felt the connection, the vibe and the honesty. I cannot forget how Anshu Wadhwa lay over a hammock and had tears rolling down her eyes all four and a half hours as she narrated her journey. She had to be medicated post that because she had relived her life’s challenges, fears and trauma.
I went in the direction where the mind, intellect, words & action were synchronized in a straight line, without any mismatch
3. As someone who has faced your own battles, how did writing this book and interacting with these remarkable individuals impact your own journey?
> I am proud of each individual in my book. I take pride in each story of grit, courage and resilience, including my own. I got emotionally invested in these people and stories. I slept over these stories for many nights before I finalized them. These people were my ray of hope. With every interview, I learned that to listen, absorb, be non-judging and accepting a journey as it is, is what truly understanding a biography is all about. My perspective did not matter. What mattered was how they saw these events of life and my job as an author was to bring their perspectives to the world. Those winning perspectives!
When I interviewed Krishna, the gay activist, I had a long list of questions. I went with a lot of preparation, but I could not ask even one question that I had penned down. The reality of his life trespassed my imagination. These people taught me the art of ‘pause and absorb’.
Now, my journey was no more about what I had faced. My journey was now about paying it forward. To make my book the source of hope and encouragement for people I had never seen or known. I realized the responsibility this book had put over my shoulders. I owed to Dilshad, Samindara, Krishna, Debojit, Colin, Nathalie, Ruchira, Anshu Wadhwa and Dr. Parikh. I owed it to the honesty with which they let their hearts and scars out. I owed to the tears shed, the time spent, the professional inputs, the efforts taken, I owed it to them as much as I owed it to myself.
I had walked past my pain. I had begun to see the bigger picture and embrace the beauty of life one more time.
These people and this book gave me a purpose. I knew, through this book, I would be facilitating the joining of the dots for many more. Because, as is mentioned in the book - The happiest people I have met, haven’t had happy lives !
4. What do you hope readers will learn or take away from these stories of grit, courage, and resilience?
> This book will layout the understanding of Attraversiamo for its readers. Attraversiamo is an Italian word that means - "let's cross over". It means that nothing in life is etched in stone and we can choose to say - ‘this is not how my story will end.’ This book makes you believe in hope. This book equips you with- ‘how’. How eleven people used various methods to cling to hope. Whether it was music or tarot, self-talk or a big goal, embracing the truth or accumulating the courage to talk or even finding a place that can provide solace. It will help you believe that Attraversiamo is possible. It will empower the readers with a strong sense of self confidence, encouraging a self-talk- ‘I can do this too.’ Each chapter, including my own, will have glimpses of a reader's life. As I have written in my book, ‘this is an extraordinary story of an (extra)ordinary person.’
I would urge the new readers to believe in Attraversiamo. Believe that there is a better life and if you try and still can't, then "let go and let God".
5. You’re also a columnist for a mental health magazine. How does Candid Conversations tie into your advocacy for mental wellness?
> In my understanding, recovery from a dark space happens, when you can look back, comprehend and pay forward to support someone else. Being a columnist with the bi-monthly mental health and well-being magazine, helps me to do exactly this.
With every theme that the magazine rolls out, I am able to bring a thought-provoking idea to the fore. Be it a lesson from the past or how I am dealing with life today. The power of ‘pause and absorb’ that I truly learnt from the process of writing the book, now comes in handy to help a larger number of people through the magazine.
6. As a C-Suite facilitator, coach, columnist, and author, how do you balance your professional life with your passion for storytelling and mental health awareness?
> I am all of this! I don’t have to make an effort to become one of these.
I am a passionate and committed individual and I always make time for what drives me. It’s true that professional engagements may be overwhelming and may leave one with less time at hand, however I have been fortunate to use my flight time, coffee breaks and late nights when an idea strikes.
7. Your podcast shares the same name as your book. How has the podcast evolved over time, and how does it complement your written work?
> The podcast was started before the launch of the book to build a tempo for the arrival of the book. I was looking for similar stories of grit, courage and resilience around me.
We have 27 live episodes on Spotify podcast – Candid Conversations with Anshu Arora. We are gearing up for season 3.
This podcast has had guests from 8 to 80 years of age, talking about how they have looked at challenges in the face and fought it through. I particularly loved the interaction I had with the youth.
The podcast is completely in-line with the book, as it also brings out real stories of courage, just like the book does. This audio format is equally engaging and leaves you with seeking more information about the journeys of those interviewed.
Our most heard podcast is Season 1 Episode 5 – Forgive your father(?)
In this heart wrenching episode, I am in conversation with a daughter who was constantly verbally abused by her father. How 'one line' said over and over again by her father, drove her to not only being mentally but even physically incapacitated. There are many such stories that can be worth a listen.
8. What were the biggest challenges you faced while writing this book, particularly in capturing the essence of these deeply personal stories?
> The biggest challenge was to keep aside my interpretations and tell the story from the perspective of the person in it. I had realized this very soon that these chapters will not be about me. Interpreting the subjects' feelings and emotions, the fabric of the story of their lives, the roles they played and the various contexts : intimate, familial, traumatic or identity based did become a complex task. These are true stories and so writing an effective, compelling biography takes getting past many personal inhibitions and creative blockages. It takes peeling down to find their truth and communicating it clearly. It's NOT easy and it's NOT quick, but SO worth it to finally be out with who they really are so you can present their real self.
9. Was there a particular moment or story during your interviews that deeply moved or changed you?
> The book has been classified in the category of – Inspirational Biographies. This is not a dark or a sad book. This is a book of hope. I am sure anyone who reads it will find something that resonates in each chapter, just like I did. What changed me were the learnings I drew from each chapter. The phrase – ‘Non-Negotiable’ or ‘The dots will join and you would know why you were put in a situation’ or ‘you are ready when you are baked’. However, I was particularly moved by what I learned from the de-addiction expert. In fact, I have used that in my TEDx talk as well. When I interviewed this recovery coach, I was introduced to a grid. A grid that talked about what possibly creates an addict. He said, any home that is like a hotel, a restaurant, a zoo or a crematorium will lead to the creation of addicts. Addicts of any kind. So, what is a hotel- a place where we check in, stay and check out. We are not concerned about who is in the next room.
What is a restaurant- My food, my table. I don't care who is on the next table.
What is a zoo- a place of cacophony, of animal-like behavior.
And what is a crematorium- a place of dead silence, in short, a place where no one talks to each other.
Any home that is one of these 4, all of these 4 or a combination, will lead to creation of an addict. Our home, our environment and most importantly how we deal with that environment as a family is very important. When people hole-up and carry grudges and do not communicate, the result is something like this ! It was an eye opener for me. Something that I pondered upon for a long time. Something that I found 100 percent true when I traced the troubled lives of people around.
10. What’s next for you after Candid Conversations? Are you planning to write more books, expand your podcast, or take on new projects related to mental health and resilience?
> Having done a book and running a podcast, I am on to a Live Show soon! I will soon be hosting a Live Show where I would be covering real stories of grit and courage in different walks of life. This interview-based show is high-research based and would help me carry the torch forward of inspiring people through real stories of resilience.